To the woman who keeps asking herself, “why her and not me?”,
It’s happened again…
Someone else is pregnant.
And here you are asking yourself the same question that always echos in your mind whenever this happens:
“Why not me?”
“Why her, and not me?”
You’re intimately acquainted with the pain that comes along with not being able to get pregnant, and you wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. You don’t want to take away from what she has; you just don’t understand why it can never be you.
Why can everyone around you get pregnant, but you can’t?
Then your mind drifts to other types of women who seem to get pregnant easily:
Why the teenage girl, but not me?
Why the addict, but not me?
Why the unbeliever, but not me?
Sometimes you ask your husband these questions as you cry.
And sometimes you don’t even utter a sound, you just quietly sit there, looking off into nowhere as you ponder these questions.
You’re frustrated, confused, angry, exhausted, heartbroken, and tired of waiting.
Why her and not you?
Because that is not the plan I have for your life, My sweet daughter.
I know there have been times you have felt alone, but you never were. I have always been with you, and I always will be (Matthew 28:20).
I have not forgotten you, how could I? I have inscribed you into the palms of My hands (Isaiah 49:15-16).
I have heard every one of your prayers for a baby and have caught every single tear, even the ones you’ve tried to hide (Jonah 2:7, Psalm 56:8).
Although you don’t realize it, I am doing something good in and through this (Isaiah 43:19, Romans 8:28).
Like I did with Rachael, Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth, I have chosen to close your womb (Genesis 11:30, 30:22, 1 Samuel 1:6, Luke 1:7).
Not because I am punishing you, but because I am preparing you (Ephesians 2:10).
I am uniquely using this time in your life to shape you into the woman I created you to be (Isaiah 64:8).
I know sometimes it’s hard to understand, but there are times when I choose to use painful experiences to accomplish My purposes here on earth. I did that at the cross and I am doing that here and now with you (Isaiah 53:3-12).
Why her and not you?
This question suggests that I am choosing her over you.
Dear one, I have already chosen you as one of Mine (Ephesians 1:4).
Have you forgotten that ALL things work together for your good (Romans 8:28)? That includes even this.
“My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).
I wrote this pain into your story many many years ago for a reason (Psalm 139:15-16).
Although you cannot see what I see or understand all of the reasons behind this, what you can do is trust in Me and My word (Psalm 9:10).
I am for you, and My plans for you are good (Jeremiah 29:11).
I always finish what I start (Philippians 1:6).
I am the One who makes a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert (Isaiah 43:19).
I will give you beauty for these ashes (Isaiah 61:3).
“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten” (Joel 2:25-26).
I will fulfill My purpose in you and through this (Psalm 138:8).
I will use you to accomplish special things for Me (John 9:3).
Why her and not you?
Because I have something better in store for you than what you have planned (Proverbs 3:5).
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matthew 9:9-12)!
Although today you do not understand all of the reasons why it has to be her and not you, trust Me when I say that one day when we are standing face to face, and I reveal to you everything I was able to accomplish in and through this, that you will smile and be thankful that it was you and not her.
Infertility Resources
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Private Facebook Group:
While In The Wilderness: Words To Pray Over Your Husband As You Walk Through Infertility Together:
43 Comments
Destiny
July 28, 2024 at 2:08 pmI started reading this and tears just fell. It is like you took the exact same questions I have asked myself over, and over again. I have struggled with infertility for 7 years now. I’m almost thirty and my biological time clock ticking away is deafening. Everyday it haunts me.
I have been a christian my whole life. I know God is real, and I know he loves all of his children. But after endless praying, prophecies told over me, endless fertility treatments….. nothing.
This is hitting my relationship with God HARD. I no longer go to church. It is way too hard to see all of the happy mothers with their beautiful families, and I’m just sitting in the back, by myself again.
I honestly feel like God has forgotten about me. He has ditched me and left me on the side of the road. There is only one thing I want in this world, a baby. That is the only thing I have prayed for for YEARS! I just do not understand how “God gives his children what they want” yet, I only want one thing and I have not gotten after all this time.
I just know that this is going to be what causes me to fall from God.
Carina Acevedo
April 16, 2022 at 1:17 pmThis past Tuesday April 13, 2022 I took a pregnancy test that was Positive! That Tuesday a year ago I lost my son Lucas at 21 weeks pregnant, having to give a natural birth. Giving birth to a sleeping baby is the most life changing unexplainable pain I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
I was so surprised to see I was pregnant, I wasn’t even trying! Only to start bleeding today and taking another test that read Not Pregnant. Another chemical pregnancy. I just had my first chemical pregnancy back in December! I don’t understand. I have so many questions.
Is the man I’m with not the one?
Is God Punishing me for my past sins?
Is this happening because I am not married?
Im angry, I’m hopeless. I came across your letter and I’m so grateful for it tho I still feel hopeless and I’m guilty for it! I will keep trusting God, I just have to. I feel less of a woman my dream is to always be a mother and have a family because I never had a family growing up. I’m 30 yrs old and I feel my time is running out. I don’t want to be an old parent but let Gods Will be done. For his plans are plans to prosper me.
Landilani
December 3, 2021 at 7:15 amAm totally encouraged. Almost three years of trying to have a baby.but I know God’s got this
Kelly
November 13, 2021 at 3:31 pmToday I found out my sister in law is pregnant with her second baby, needless to say I am feeling so overwhelmingly sad. I’m happy for her, but I have said “why her and not me” today even though I know it’s wrong. My husband just told me to talk to God about 20 minutes ago. I looked up “infertility” on Pinterest and this was the first thing that came up. I’m praying so hard that God blesses us with a baby soon and gives me comfort as we go through this difficult and heart breaking journey. Prayers to all the lovely ladies on here experiencing the same.
CN
August 22, 2021 at 5:41 pmOh thank God He directed me to this read after feeling so down today. I crushed down today when some lady in her late 40s approached me after church and asked me to keep her in prayers coz she has been asking herself why she can’t conceive, she was emotionally drained ,l could feel her pain because l also have the same challenge. Upon telling her l hv the same issue we were both shocked as to why God led her to me. When l got home I had to search a read that will encourage me as l start including her in my prayers and thank God l came across this. Now l know that God is surely moulding me to be the woman He wants me to be and that l will 1 day receive the crown and minister to those who will be facing the same challenge. I’am encouraged, , l shall come back to testify.
kristy
September 16, 2021 at 4:20 pmCN,
Thank you for taking the time to let me know that this blessed you! It’s so amazing when we see the Lord directing certain people and things into our lives. We serve such a loving and caring Father. So happy the Lord led you here, and I can’t wait to hear what He does in your life!
SL
June 19, 2021 at 12:13 pmThank you for this beautiful post. This is just what I needed to see.
I lost my baby in the second trimester around this time last year. This was my very first pregnancy. I had retained placenta after the loss which resulted in an infection and yet another D&C. By the time my husband and I could try again, he was diagnosed with cancer and had to begin chemo therapy (he is doing great by the way! Everything looks promising!!). In the meantime, I’ve been diagnosed with scar tissue likely from the infection from the retained placenta. With the combination of the effects of chemo on my husband’s fertility coupled with my own issues, our odds have crumbled in the course of just one year.
I’ve spent much of this last year sad, angry, and just plain miserable- Especially seeing what seems like everyone in my inner circle having a baby. I’m crushed with every pregnancy and birth announcement still to this day and find myself asking “why?” every day.
I’m trying so hard to trust His journey for me. It is a daily challenge. But I must walk in confidence and faith.
Praying for all you amazing women! ❤️
kristy
July 29, 2021 at 4:47 pmSL,
Thank you for sharing some of your story and a little of your heart here. You have been through so much, and I can’t imagine how difficult the past year must have been for you. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through, and my heart breaks for you because I know that your heart is broken. After experiencing heartbreak after heartbreak, I understand entirely asking God the question of “why?” repeatedly. You’ve probably even asked Him when He is going to give you a break. Although I haven’t experienced all the things that you’ve gone through, I understand trying to live day by day as you carry grief, anger, confusion, and sadness along with you. I know it might not seem like it now, but the Lord will sustain you through this, and you will come out on the other side with a stronger faith and love for God if you don’t let go of Him. Cling to Him with any ounce of strength you have left, don’t give in to the temptation of despair or walk away from Him in your anger. He understands your heart, and He is lovingly and graciously with you as you work out your feelings and faith during this time. As I read your comment, the Lord put two passages of Scripture on my heart. The first being the Psalm I read this morning: “Oh bless our God, you peoples! And make the voice of His praise to be heard, who keeps our soul among the living, and does not allow our feet to be moved. For You, O God, have tested us; you have refined us as silver is refined. You brought us into the net; You laid affliction on our backs. You have caused men to ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water; but You brought us out to rich fulfillment.” Psalm 66:8-12 There was a time when I really struggled with understanding why God allows certain things to happen or for us to experience such heartbreak, but what the Lord has shown me is that it is only in the darkest times in our lives that we can clearly see the weak spots in our faith which reveals what we really think about God and His character. And it’s not that God punishes us with heartbreak because we have weak spots in our faith. The heartbreak He allows is so that our faith can be strengthened and deepened so that He can pull us even closer to Himself and reveal more of His heart to us and make us more like Christ. In the book of Isaiah, we are told that Christ was a man of sorrows and well acquainted with grief (53:3). Feeling sorrow and grief are not feelings people strive for, but I pray that today you can find some comfort in knowing that as a woman who has experienced many sorrows and who is well acquainted with grief that you share that with Christ. God never allows pain or hurt without a purpose. Jesus was tortured and murdered on the cross, but that’s not where the story ended! It was through and because of that horrible experience that Christ saved us, allowing us to spend eternity in heaven with Him. Christ is not in the tomb, He is risen! Christ was not defeated and I believe that God will not allow this season to defeat or define you. There is a Phil Wickham song called “Battle Belongs” that has a lyric in it that I love, he sings: “When all I see are the ashes, you see the beauty. Thank you God! When all I see is the cross, you see the empty tomb.” I think you should listen to that song. Also, listen to his song “It’s Always Been You” AND listen to Kim Walker Smith’s album ‘Wild Heart”. When I was struggling with grief the Lord really spoke through her songs. The second passage of Scripture the Lord placed on my heart for you was the book of Job. The Lord allowed Job to lose everything, and yet in the book of James, we are told: “Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful” (5:11). Through every heartbreak and even through the despair, the Lord’s intention for Job was good, and I know that God’s intention for you is good as well! Cling to the truths that God is good, and He intends good for you and your family. He loves you and is for you. AND HAVE HOPE THAT HE IS MAKING A WAY FOR YOU AND YOURS BECAUSE HE IS! He is working and moving. Praying for you now, sweet friend!
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19
Joslyne Muthoni
May 23, 2021 at 1:41 pmThank you for this word, it really spoke to me tonight. This whole week I have been at a place where I told myself I won’t hope again. I have been TTC and it feels like God has forsaken me. I lost my baby last December at 20wks due to a weak cervix and had to start the year bearing that pain. When you say why her and not me, it could not have described my situation better. My husband’s brother’s wife got pregnant in January with her 2nd baby and I had to fight back tears and be happy for her while I was going through this dark and difficulty phase.
As I write this, I’m only a week shy from finding out whether God has blessed me this month. I’m encouraged and I do pray for positive news.
kristy
May 25, 2021 at 4:38 pmJoslyne,
I’m so happy that the Lord spoke to you through this letter! He loves you so much and has caught every one of your tears. Even though it feels like He has forsaken you, I pray that you would resist giving in to that lie while clinging to the truths found in Scripture:
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8
“I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
I urge you to read and meditate on Psalm 139 whenever you feel forgotten by God and if you ever feel unloved, read Isaiah 53 to be reminded of what He endured for us because He loves us.
HE LOVES YOU AND IS FOR YOU!
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I can’t imagine how heartbreaking that was and still is. When we have to experience such dark times and devastating emotions, it’s hard to understand the why, and I don’t think we will ever fully understand on this side of heaven why we have to experience certain experiences or losses. I’ve never lost a child, but I pray that you would be comforted in knowing that God understands your pain and what you are going through because He lost His son too. If He hasn’t already, I know that Jesus will speak words of comfort and healing to your heart when you’re ready to receive them. He mourns when you mourn, and He is praying for you RIGHT NOW:
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know how we ought to pray, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers.” Romans 8:26-29
I understand the pain and complicated feelings that accompany hearing someone close to you is pregnant. I’m sure I’ve felt all the same feelings you’ve felt in that situation. Being in that position is not fun, but there are things that the Lord can and wants to show you through this time and situation. There are ways He wants to grow you and shape you into being more like Him. Circumstances never restrain the Lord, and He is always making ALL things work together for our good…even when it doesn’t seem or feel that He is.
The Lord is ALWAYS working, and He is ALWAYS with you!
Praying for you now, sweet sister.
Shubhi
April 4, 2021 at 12:14 pmHello..
Thank you for providing the ray of hope in my tough n dark time!!! I am deeply grateful!! 🙏🙏
I am not a Christian but I could completely relate with each n every word..
This article has given me hope and strength to believe in god and myself!!
I am from India and I came across this at such a correct time as if god meant for me to read this!!
Thank you again!!
kristy
April 5, 2021 at 11:03 amShubhi,
I do not think that it’s a coincidence that you read this letter. I know it was the Lord Jesus Christ that led you here. It blesses me so much that you were encouraged by this, but it’s important for you to know that the promises found in the Bible are intended for believers in Christ only. But, I have good news! The Lord wants these promises to be for you too! But, you have to first acknowledge and accept Jesus as God: “if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with your heart, you believe and are justified, and with your mouth, you confess and are saved. It is just as the Scripture says: ‘Anyone who believes in Him will never be put to shame.’ Romans 10:9-11
Jesus made it very clear that He is the only way someone can have a right standing with God, be in commune with the one true God, and spend eternity in heaven with Him:
“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father (God) except through Me.” John 14:6
Jesus is the only way to God, and sweet Shubhi, I pray that you would come to Him. He loves you so much and desires to have a deep intimate relationship with you. Even if nothing I wrote above resonates with you, could you do me a simple favor? Take a moment and visit this site https://www.wcoi.org It’s a ministry based out of India that transcribes the Bible in your language. You can listen to the actual words of God in your own language. I believe that if you do, the Lord will speak powerfully to you, and you will experience and comfort and peace that you have never felt before! Don’t put it off, go listen now. I promise you won’t regret it! 🙂
Thank you again for reaching out to me and sharing a little bit of your heart with me. Praying for you!
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
New year, same problems, yet a new perspective. – Bella's Boutique
January 11, 2021 at 10:37 pm[…] A Letter To The One Asking, “Why Her And Not Me?” […]
Megan
January 26, 2021 at 9:35 pmThis was just what I needed ❤️ Thank you
kristy
January 27, 2021 at 5:33 pmMegan,
I’m so happy to know that the Lord blessed you through this! Thank you for letting me know! Praying for you! 🙂
Ashley Thomas
February 21, 2021 at 3:52 pmI honestly cried in reading this. I feel like of all the things I have been reading to get through this journey of infertility was not bad for it was about the testimony of Sarah or Hannah. But this was like God speaking directly to me about every emotion, every tear, and every question I have been asking myself and God.
Thank you for your post.
kristy
March 3, 2021 at 3:29 pmAshley,
Thank you so much for writing to me and letting me know how deeply the Lord ministered to your heart and hurt through this! Your words mean so much to me, and I cherish them! It is an honor to know that the Lord used my pain and struggles to speak to another woman who is walking a similar journey. He never wastes our pain, tears, or heartbreak. He is always working on turning them into something beautiful. I love the stories of Hannah and Sarah as well! Have you ever read the story of Elizabeth before? If not, you can find her story starting in Luke 1. I know her story and how the Lord worked through her life will bless you! You might also want to read through the book of Habakkuk, it’s only three chapters, and although it does not directly address fertility, the Lord has ministered deeply to my own heart through it, and I think He will do the same for you. I will be praying for you!
Kourtney
November 8, 2020 at 7:15 amThis is one of the most AMAZING compilation of verses and encouraging words I have read up to this point in my TTC journey. I lost a baby due to my pregnancy being ectopic in January 2020 and have struggled mentally & spiritually trying to understand why this would happen. It’s taken me almost a year to stop blaming God & others and realize that God is just working on my testimony. Thank you for this ♥️ It was just what I needed.
kristy
December 2, 2020 at 5:17 pmKourtney,
Wow, that is quite the compliment! Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to write this. It blessed me so! I am so so sorry that you had to experience both the physical and emotional pain that comes from an ectopic pregnancy. I’m so happy to hear that you are in a better place with the Lord after such a difficult year. This past year was a tough one for me as well, probably the hardest one in my 8 years of trying. Although my questioning of God stemmed from not being able to conceive, what hurt even more than not being pregnant, was not feeling close to Him. That is the deepest pain I’ve ever felt. But now that I’m on the other side of that, I can see how He was using even that to draw me closer to Him and to strengthen my faith and relationship with Him. It sounds like He did something similar with you this past year. Blessed to hear a little of your story, blessed to “meet” you, and blessed that we’re both in a better place today. Thank you again for your kind words! Praying for you!
Cris Amato
October 25, 2020 at 4:24 pmThank you for this beautiful compilation of verses, it flows perfectly and feels so personal. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for over 8 years it’s been so painful. I lost my son 2 years ago and it’s just been one disappointment after another. Lately I find myself irritated by the words “this is for my good” or “ I know the plans” what could be good in all of this. The amount of pain I feel is indescribable. I hate that I feel and go through the “why her and not me” thoughts. It’s all I can bear sometimes. Most of the time I’m ok, but lately it’s rearing it’s ugly head. I’m honestly not sure what to trust God for any more. I hate to say it out loud but I feel like salvation is the big consolation prize for a lifetime of being refined. I’m quite honestly tired of being refined. I hate the bitterness I feel right now. I can barely pray anymore. It’s nice to know I’m not alone I feel sad for all of us.
Arianna
November 15, 2020 at 4:14 pmHello cris, I feel you in this journey,mim also in the exact same boat as you sis in christ. Email me and we will pray for eachother my email is ari.kew13@gmail.com please feel free to email me.
kristy
December 2, 2020 at 5:18 pmArianna,
I love this!
cris amato
December 3, 2020 at 9:41 amArianna,
Thank you for reaching out. I always welcome a sister in christ. I would be happy to give you my email
Nursecris0810@gmail.com
kristy
December 2, 2020 at 5:04 pmCris,
Thank you for sharing a little bit of your story and heart with us. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I know nothing I could say would take away that hurt, but I am so sorry, and my heart breaks for you; I will be praying for you. I too have been trying for over 8 years to get pregnant, and I have felt everything that you’ve shared in your comment. I was actually really struggling with these exact thoughts this past year. The hardest part for me wasn’t the hurt over not having a baby, but rather questioning who God was. When you’re so deep in the midst of pain, and you feel like you’re struggling just to keep your head above water, it’s so hard to see past your own hurt. The pain becomes all you can see and feel, and you view everything through the lens of that pain, including God. I think that a lot of the time when we ask God to show us more of Himself or to make us more like Him, we expect it just to happen, without considering the process He might use to answer those prayers. Yes, God can answer every prayer with just a word and, almost like magic, change things, but in my experience, He rarely does that. Instead, He takes us through experiences and trials to show and teach us the lessons He wants us to learn, and He uses these experiences to shape us into the people that He wants us to become. Yes, God could snap His fingers this very moment and place children in both of our wombs, but He has chosen not to because He is doing something in and through us. Something that we cannot fully grasp nor understand, but one day we will. One day, all of the suffering and pain will make sense. This past year, I often asked myself, “Why must I go through this? Why do I have to hurt?” As I was washing the dishes one day, I heard His answer within my heart: The Lord reveals our weak spots so that He can strengthen us. Sometimes we don’t even know we have a weak spot, and we never would know unless the Lord revealed it to us. The Lord has revealed weak spots in my faith this year that I had no idea I ever had, and if I never went through the struggle of this past year, I would have never known that I had them. I want to remind you of our Lord’s heart toward you because it sounds like you’ve forgotten (and I know how that feels because I forgot for a long time too). He loves you. He loves you so very deeply. And, I know you’re so sick of hearing this, but He is doing something good out of all this bad. I want to point out that in Romans 8:28, when it says “all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, to those who are the called according to His purpose”, nowhere does it say that ALL things are good, rather that ALL things, including our hurt, works together for good. I want you to know that as I read your comment, I was filled with hope for you. It’s always darkest before the dawn, and I feel deep within my spirit that the Lord is doing something similar to you as He did with me this past year. You will come out on the other side of this tunnel with a deeper faith and deeper trust in God than ever before. A faith and trust that you could have never had if you had never experienced all the things that you’ve experienced. God is molding you into something so beautiful, and He has so many good things in store for you. Don’t throw in the towel… “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:2-5). Praying for you.
cris amato
December 3, 2020 at 9:44 amThank you Kristy for sharing your story and your hope. I am definitely in better spirits lately. The Lord has really blessed me and has been speaking to me. I am doing my best to trust him even with my fertility. Thank you for this community and thank you for sharing your prayers for me.
kristy
December 8, 2020 at 6:02 pmCris,
I’m glad to hear that you have been feeling better! Thank YOU so much for sharing some of your story with us; I know it will comfort many women who read it! 🙂
Angela
September 26, 2020 at 6:02 amBeautifully written! So encouraging and full of the Word! I walked through many years of infertility and it was HARD! And I had many of the same feeling and questions you described. But the Lord is so faithful! He knew what He was doing all along even when it didn’t make sense to me! I now have 5 kiddos in my home—2 miraculous births, 2 miraculous adoptions, and 1 foster child. During the season of infertility in my life was when the Lord taught me how to trust Him and have faith and those lessons have spilled into all other areas of my life. Prayers for you ladies, infertility is a pain only those of us who have experienced it can understand. ♥️
kristy
September 28, 2020 at 4:38 pmAngela,
Thank you so much for sharing a little bit of your story with us. I know it will encourage all who read it. Congratulations on all those babies! Oh my goodness, you have your hands full! God has such unique and beautiful plans for each of our lives that play out on His timeline and in His way. Thank you for your prayers; I will be praying for you and your beautiful family as well<3
Alisha
August 11, 2020 at 11:49 pmI needed this tonight more than you could imagine. I’m saving it to read over and over again as I work at mending my shattered childless heart ?
kristy
August 18, 2020 at 6:11 pmAisha,
It touched my heart to hear how the Lord comforted you (through this letter) in the midst of pain. I want to lovingly remind you that it is not up to you to mend your broken heart, that is something only the Lord can do. If your heart has been feeling empty or has become hardened towards the Lord, I want to encourage you with a verse from the book of Ezekial: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (v.26). The Lord is so full of grace and mercy, and He understands the depths of our pain. He did not have you walk down this path only to abandon you. He is and will work a miracle through this trial. And although a baby would be a wonderful miracle, I think an even bigger miracle would be that even in the midst of something so painful (that may never end) we are still able to find joy and purpose in God alone. There is a deep and great faith awaiting us at the end of all of this. A faith that could never come by any other means than what we are experiencing now. A faith born out of adversity:
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in various trials so that the authenticity of your faith— more precious than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire— may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ” 1 Peter 1:7
The Lord is doing something good through this.
Keep believing, keep trusting!
Praying for you now…
Joanna
August 20, 2020 at 9:53 pmHi Kristy!!
Im sorry i couldnt find the way to comment, but i honestly stumbled upon this. I’m going on almost 9 years of infertility! Sometimes I just dont know how to deal with it… Thank you for your words! This spoke to me! Really touching??
kristy
September 28, 2020 at 4:18 pmJoanna,
For some reason, I am just now seeing your comment. I don’t believe that you just “stumble upon this,” but instead that the Lord led you here. And I’m so happy that He did! In October, we will be entering our 8th year of infertility, and throughout those years, there have been countless tears, but so many lessons and blessings from the Lord. If I had a baby right after I was married, I would not be the woman I am today, and if you had had a baby all those years ago, you would not be the woman you are today either. Although it may be hard to understand or come to terms with, God is using this to shape us into who He wants us to be. Through the heartbreak and struggle, He is strengthening our faith and making us more like Him. I’m so happy that this spoke to you and thank you for taking the time to let me know that this blessed you. I will be praying for you <3
Yalixa
September 30, 2020 at 5:29 pmI pray and Hope for the best for you in the years to come so that you find peace and happyness on whatever decision comes out to reveal itself at the end of your lifes Journey….God bless
kristy
December 2, 2020 at 5:30 pmYalixa,
I don’t know why, but I am just now seeing your comment! Thank you so much for your well wishes and your kind words! They mean so much to me! I am very curious to see all of the beautiful things the Lord was doing through my life one day. Praying for you as well, friend!
Aisher
June 13, 2020 at 7:55 amThank you for being obedient to the Holy Spirit in writing this, for I am in the midst of infertility…going on 4 years. This has encouraged my heart and has calmed me. I was also convicted. It hurt, but it was needed. May God bless you, your ministry, and your family.
kristy
June 17, 2020 at 4:29 pmAisher, thank you for letting me know that the Lord blessed you through this letter! I love hearing that! I’m so sorry that you and your husband are having to experience infertility and everything that comes along with it. It’s been eight years of trying for my husband and me, so I know these thoughts well. But, I also know that the Lord is allowing us (both you and I) to walk this path for a reason that is bigger and better than either of us could ever imagine. Keep leaning into God and trusting His plan, no matter what. If we stay faithful and continue to trust the Lord all the days of our life, there will be a special and unique blessing awaiting both of us in heaven. Lifting you up in prayer now, sweet sister.
Sarah Edwards
July 13, 2020 at 5:01 pmThank you so much for writing this. I am crying just reading the beautiful words you wrote. I am going through this right now and it is so incredibly painful.
kristy
August 10, 2020 at 5:05 pmThank you so much for taking the time to write to me and let me know that the Lord spoke powerfully to you through this; it’s always a blessing to hear! I cried many times as I wrote this, so I understand your tears and pain. You should join the Yet I Will Rejoice Private Facebook group (you can find the link above). Being a part of a supportive group and being reminded that you’re not the only one struggling is so important since so often infertility can make you feel alone. As soon as I finish typing this, I will be lifting you and your hurt up in prayer. You are not alone! 🙂
Melody
April 24, 2020 at 8:00 amLord You are truth the IAM thank you for my beautiful blessed Krissy beautiful in spirit whom you created for Your glory you formed her and made her You give waters in the wilderness And rivers in the desert she can drink of Your living water to renew the work through the Holy Spirit has for her to stand on your promises whom you created for Your glory you have formed her for your glory amen have a blessed day beautiful writer for God taking care of His business I love you ❤️ mom
ARIANNE
April 22, 2020 at 5:17 amHello Kristy. Thank you for writing this article. I am one of those women who are struggling with infertility. This article helped me. God bless you!
kristy
April 22, 2020 at 10:33 amArianne,
I’m so happy to hear that this blessed you! Hearing that yet again, someone else is pregnant can be so hard, and I know all of us have asked ourselves this question many times before. I’m glad the Lord led you here 🙂 I also have an Infertility Bible Reading plan that you might like as well: https://www.organicchristianliving.com/yet-i-will-rejoice-infertility-bible-reading-plan/
San
September 25, 2020 at 4:52 pmDear Kristy,
I thank the Lord for you and your life. I thank Him For using you to let me remember His promises for me and how much He loves me and that He has not forgotten me. Thank you for writing this. ❤️
kristy
September 28, 2020 at 4:31 pmSan,
Your kind words mean so much to me! Thank you for taking the time to write this and for letting me know how the Lord spoke to you through it! Your comment was a blessing to read and oh so encouraging! Now I want to encourage you: the Lord has been beside you this entire time, leading you where He wants to take you. And, when you finally arrive at God’s destination, it will be better than anything you ever imagined. Don’t lose faith, trust and wait upon the Lord <3
"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall. But those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:30-31